“We have a place for more than one child in our home and hearts!”

The adoption process

The adoption process proved very challenging at times, but we didn’t expect it to be easy!  A few parts moved smoothly and fairly slickly, but of course because of the difficult and sensitive nature of adoption – there were periods of delay awaiting decisions from others or waiting for the court to go through the necessary steps.  We had an amazing social worker, who advised and mentored us throughout the process.  It encouraged us to consider what was always best for us, and there was one period when we had to consider if we were able to stay with the “match”.  We decided after a lot of discussion and consideration, that the two little ones were worth waiting for.

Deciding to Adopt siblings

The decision to consider adopting siblings was an easy one in terms of our wish to keep siblings together and from a practical point of view, that we have a place for more than one child in our home and hearts!  The conversations we had with our Social Worker also helped us to be confident in our decision.

When they moved to live with us

Almost two years immediately after we submitted the adoption application form, two small whirlwinds arrived at our house, and turned it into a noisy and happy home full of wonderful mess!  Obviously, this was a complete change of world for us and for them, and the first few weeks of being together were tiring, fun, tiring, challenging and tiring!  There was plenty of support during the introductions and settling in period and we maintained contact with the foster family in order to support the children and ourselves.  The children were coping well with a new family, location and language and we are sure that the fact that they are together is of a huge benefit and support to them. Within three months both had settled well with us and in the area and became bilingual toddlers.

Support network

We have been lucky to know other families in the area, so that has given us the opportunity to discuss, inquire and compare notes every now and then, especially if something challenging has come across us.  We would advise anyone to make use of support networks, informal or formal and our social worker has always been there for us if necessary and if any difficult issues arise in the future, I know that we have the support.

Life story

Every so often questions arise from the children about their past, sometimes the question arises unexpectedly and we must respond agilely and positively.  We reinforce positive but honest messages and use pictures and names.  We have also created a picture of a tree showing the roots beneath the soil, their growth and the family and friends that surround them which is now growing.

From day one to the present day, we wouldn’t change anything about the two whirlwinds, our family!

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If you think you could give a loving home to a sibling group, then we would love to hear from you. Please contact us to find out more information about the process.

Or you can contact us direct:

If you live in our West Wales region (Carmarthenshire, Ceredigion or Pembrokeshire)	If you live in our Mid Wales region (Powys)
Call: 0300 30 32 505 Email: adoptionenquiries@carmarthenshire.gov.uk	Call: 01597 826052 Email: adoption@powys.gov.uk

The return to school after the Christmas break can be particularly challenging for adopted children. Many children develop worries around leaving their parents and become upset at the prospect of separation, such as going into school. This behaviour can start following any change, such as starting a new school, moving house, or experiencing a loss or bereavement.

8 Tips to Help Your Child Adjust:

1. Visual Cues: Visual planners and communication tags (like TomTag) are great because they make daily activities more predictable, reducing anxiety and helping children understand what comes next.
2. Worry Discussions: Designate times to talk about worries and avoid discussing them at other times.
3. Praise Independence: Offer praise for coping without reassurance, even if it’s for very short periods. For example, you can say, “You’re doing so well handling this on your own!” This encourages the child to continue managing their anxiety independently.
4. Consistent Separation Routine: At separation points, behave as you would if your child wasn’t distressed (e.g., say goodbye, smile, and leave).
5. Avoid Excessive Talk: Avoid talking excessively or asking for explanations for behaviours.
6. Sensory Activities: Engage your child in sensory activities that help them calm down and feel grounded. This can include activities like jumping on a trampoline, using a weighted blanket, or playing with sensory toys. There are also many examples of how sensorimotor activities can help – check out this informative article or this blog post.
7. Communicate with School Staff: Encourage open communication with teachers and school staff about the child’s needs and any strategies that work well at home. This can help create a supportive environment at school.
8. Seek Support: Dealing with an anxious child can be very stressful. Seek support from professionals, other parents, or family members.

Remember, many children experience this issue, and many parents feel frustrated in relation to it. Don’t feel guilty. If you need further support, please contact us. We are here to help. There are also a number of helpful organisations that can provide you with support:

1. Adoption UK (Wales): Offers a range of support services for adoptive families, including local community groups across Wales. They provide advice, friendship, and various events to help families connect and support each other.
2. Connect Cymru: A service specifically for adopted children and young people in Wales, developed by adopted young people. They offer various programs and support tailored to the needs of adopted children.
3. Neurodivergence Wales: This organization is funded by the Welsh Government, hosted by the Welsh Local Government Association (WLGA), and works in partnership with Public Health Wales (PHW). The team works closely with the Welsh Government, local authority Autism Leads, health boards, key stakeholders, and advisory groups.

These resources can provide valuable support and information for you. If you need more specific recommendations or further support, please contact us.